There Is No Failure

Image by Todd Ehlers

I am not generally a fan of absolutes.  They tend to end in airplanes crashing into buildings or abortion doctors getting shot.

But there is one absolute I support – and that is taking absolute responsibility for your life. Absolute responsibility for your financial success, your social success, your sexual skill and presence. Which all comes down to absolute responsibility for your inner world, your inner monologue.

It means NEVER blaming outer circumstances for your condition – no matter WHAT.

If Viktor Frankl, the psychologist, could find the burning core of human hope and goodness while tortured in Auschwitz – you and I can pull up our belts, press our shirts and head out and find happiness and success with local women.  (If you haven’t, you must read his book, “Man’s Search For Meaning.”  You will NEVER feel sorry for yourself again.)

My buddy (and a new dad!) Carlos Xuma agrees with me.  Here is a short piece of his about choosing which attitude you’re going to have toward life – and which results you will get.

Create the life you want.  Nobody else is gonna do it for you!  Here’s Carlos…

* * *

There are two kinds of men in the world today, and I want you to meet them … because you’re probably one of them. Actually, you’re probably both, to a degree, but you are definitely more one than the other. Each of these two guys is single, intelligent, and generally a ‘nice’ guy.

What they do have is widely disparate ATTITUDES toward life. Allow me illustrate:

—

Bob is just an average guy. He goes to work, comes home, eats dinner. He hangs out with friends at happy hour from time to time. He generally hopes that good things will happen to him.

But Bob is passive. He doesn’t seek out ways to take charge and influence his world. Bob is too concerned with protecting his image of himself.

He goes out and meets women on occasion, but he finds the same pattern evolving: He meets a gal every once in a while, usually by luck. He’ll ask and get her number from her. He’ll call a day or two later, and usually get an answering machine. She never calls him back, and he ends up calling several times before he finally gets hold of her. She’s usually polite, and he’ll muster up the courage to ask for a date. She agrees, but when the day comes for them to meet up, she calls him and says she can’t make it. Or she stands him up. Bob then looks at this as being yet another reason women are unreliable, and he starts to get self-righteous. He’s doing everything right, and THEY are acting all weird. It must be them, he figures.

And his passivity increases. Why bother trying if you just get shot down every time?

—

Dave on the other hand is average, too. But he rises above the average because of his attitude: Dave is active about his life. He takes the wheel of his life and steers it where he wants to go. He knows that if life isn’t going the way he wants it, he has the power to make it happen himself.

He doesn’t sit back expecting his abilities with women to succeed; he actively seeks out opportunities to try and learn from his interactions. When he fails in a seduction, he looks back on what he could do differently, not scared that making a mistake means he’s unworthy as a man.

Dave understands that when a woman acts a certain way, it is usually something he could influence with his approach and attitude. While her rejections do not mean anything to his worth, he does know that he can change his approach and learn to decrease those rejections. The answer isn’t finding just the right woman as it is understanding what parts of him he can develop and present to get more women interested.

Dave seeks out information and guidance to learn and improve. He doesn’t let life happen TO him, he makes it happen.

—

These two men demonstrate the kind of men who eventually get dates and get laid, or the ones that get stuck in the Downward Spiral, becoming more bitter and avoiding women.

The only man who isn’t worthy of a woman is the one who isn’t learning from his mistakes and trying again. He picks himself up, dusts himself off, and tries until he succeeds. He only fails when he fails to keep trying and learning from his attempts.

So which of these two would you rather be?

Notice, I didn’t ask you which of them you ARE. All of us have elements of both men.

And it doesn’t matter in the end, because I’m giving you an opportunity that other people will never offer you in life: You can stand at this crossroads and choose to settle for whatever results you’re currently getting with women, or you can choose to take the path of action. You can learn and improve with your strategy and get more women.

Or … Well, I think you know what lies down that road.

Don’t be the man sitting in front of the wood stove who says “Give me heat first, and THEN I’ll throw in the wood.”

* * *

Be sure to check out Carlos’ program, The Bad Boy Formula, here.

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