Can You Offer Her Your Inner Warrior?

What does it mean to be a “warrior”?

Women want a man who, when necessary, will kill to defend them.  The killer in you is sexy – incredibly sexy — to women.

But like all virtues, your warrior-instinct has a shadow side.  And because that shadow side is so evident in the random violence and militarism of our species — just at this historical moment when we need to evolve faster than our technology – women are often rightly suspect of the “warrior” that lurks inside men.

So I want to focus on the necessary and positive aspect of your inner Warrior.  This aspect of yourself is essential to hone in order to attract the best women into your life.  Also, you need this from you. Only by sharpening your inner Warrior skills can you really give your deepest gifts to the world.

Can you think of the type of character you see in film: the “reluctant warrior” — you know, the guy who, in the past, has killed for good cause, but who now wants to live quietly with his family.  He does not SEEK violence, in fact, tries to avoid it – yet cannot.  Because, as it happens, injustice now calls him out of domestic bliss to kill again — for a high cause.

You see this  in Clint Eastwood’s near-perfect film, “The Unforgiven.” You see it in Walking Tall, Rambo, Gladiator– these are all stories that explore the Reluctant Warrior theme.

First lesson for you – as a true Warrior, you do not seek violence. You resort to force when all else fails – the true priority is to keep and restore order and safety for the women and children – for what I call your “realm.”

(I want you to start thinking of the people in your life as part of your “realm,” just as a King has a realm.  How are you providing for them, creating order and bounty for the people in your life?  The more you move in this direction, the more you are taking on the mantle of the Deep Masculine role of “Kingship” – something that will inspire enduring devotion in addition to initial attraction from your woman.)

So what does it mean to claim your “warrior” in your daily life and how do women see it?

It doesn’t mean you’re eager to fight.  It doesn’t mean you’re a bully or a hothead or provocateur.

Instead, below are the qualities of a true Warrior:

• Inner discipline
• Accuracy and precision
• A bright awareness of all that is occurring around you
• A capacity to withstand challenge and pain patiently and calmly as you maintain…
• Focus and movement toward your highest goals and highest good
• A dogged embodiment of potency applied toward worthy causes

If you really want to get to the core of what women find wildly attractive in you, write these qualities down and review them 10x a day!

How are you embodying them at home, at work, when you are out socializing?

These are the qualities that allow your Inner Warrior to be ready to do “noble battle” when it counts.  They allow you to be prepared to commit yourself, commit until victory.

There are ways to begin communicating that you are working to embody these noble qualities.  If you are dating online, for example, you might want to say something like:

“I have high ideals in my life and I will stand behind

them, even if that means going against the grain.”

“I love to come into a difficult situation, get a quick,

solid handle on what the problems are, and then cut

through to find the best solution that serves everyone involved.”

“I am committed to a daily practice of increasing my health,

my vitality, my self-understanding and my growth as a

professional as well as a man and intimate partner.”

At the core of this messaging is fearlessness and decisiveness.

And beneath, lie two essential qualities:  discipline and urgency.

You can cultivate your inner Warrior by amping up your discipline in even the smallest ways…

• Discipline your mind through short meditations (I recommend the powerful book “Meditation in a New York Minute” by my friend, Mark Thornton) and other awareness practices.

• Discipline your speech by staying aware of the impact every word makes, and by cutting out any self-denigration or self-limitation (I show you in detail how to do this in my book, Deep Attraction Online).

• Discipline your breathing by taking three deep grounding breaths before any important meeting or date — bring your full awareness back to the present

• Discipline your body by eating unprocessed foods, lean proteins.  Cut out the crap food.  Get trim and vital and able to move quickly and decisively.

• Discipline yourself for success by taking decisive actions toward your highest goals.  If you want to meet more women or that one great woman, deepen yourself daily, write 10 women a day online, or introduce yourself to ten women in public.  The key – take action after action after action.  This is the seedbed of expertise and success.

• Discipline your “killer.”  By this I mean, develop skills with which you will be able to defend your woman or your family if need be.  There is a tremendous confidence that comes with a martial skill – whether boxing, muay thai, karate, MMA.  Just go start a class this week.  And no, hacky-sack does not count.

As for urgency, I will go more into this later.  But here is a start:

Know that there is only this moment.  Your excellence, your ultimate attractiveness to women is not something you want 10 years from now.  It’s something you want NOW.  It’s something to create NOW.

Life moves quickly.  Ignite your Inner Warrior.  And fight the real battle – against your own hesitation, distraction, lack of focus, weakness, fear, negative self-talk and laziness.

Be the man who inspires women.  Alert.  Prepared.  Vital.  Disciplined.  Ready – right now – to make Good happen in everything you do.

That — is a true Warrior.

(This is excerpted from my forthcoming book:  “Dating After 35: Embodying The Irresistible Masculine”)

P.S. Next, we are going to look at how to temper the Warrior with your Altruist Archetype, so you don’t tip over into being a heartless bastard J

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