“When do I touch a woman?”
This is one of the most common questions I get, and I want to give you a scientific answer based on a book I’ve just read.
First, here’s the answer: within the first minute, if possible.
Second, here’s why…
Richard Wiseman, in a fantastic little book called “59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot,” reports on a university research project: 3 men approached 240 women in the street, told them they were pretty, suggested a drink later in the day and asked for a phone number.
The first half didn’t touch the women. The second half touched her lightly on the arm as they asked.
Women said yes to 10% of the first batch and 20% of the second.
They repeated the experiment in a nightclub setting asking instead for a dance and the numbers jumped form 43% to 65%.
Why did the touch make a 100% or 50% difference? Wiseman suggests that touching suggests STATUS, which, of course, is attractive. In almost all social situations, you will notice that the “toucher” is almost always the higher status individual. Ever notice who puts a hand on the back of the another to lead them first through a door?
This underlines something I have written about in several of my programs – regarding touch, banter, flirtation, engagement – especially important for you if you are shy at all.
Talk to everyone. Touch everyone.
When you talk to everyone you meet – the grocer, the girl in the office, the waitress, the chance encounter – you are at ease and natural when you meet that stunning beauty you’ve been dreaming about. And you don’t freeze up.
Your natural ease will indicate to her that you are confident and “high status.”
Likewise for touching. So many men run their mental gears trying to figure out when to “escalate” a conversation into something sexual.
But it’s like I describe foreplay: something that begins the minute you open your eyes in the morning.
Touching begins right away. A light touch on the upper arm.
Fortune favors the bold.
And women favor men who are confident, at ease and who display, subtle, reassuring high-status behaviors.
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