Here’s today’s question on getting those all-important digits.  If you want her phone number — the following is a great and powerful way of standing out from the other guys…

**  Your Letter  **

“Hey Adam,

I’m pretty good at starting conversations and I’m not bad at leading a woman into an emotional-subject conversation, but I suck – read SUCK – at asking for her number.  I get all nervous, like I feel like I’m raping her or something.  Any advice on a casual number close?”  – Thanks man, Jared”

**  MY RESPONSE  **

Jared…

Rape?  Really?  Well, let’s start there because your problem lies there.  You are somehow flipping from connection and contact into WANTING something from her.  You feel like you are illicitly TAKING something from her.  When in fact you are OFFERING her something.

Here’s your reframe:  by getting her number, you’re giving her an opportunity to go out with on another night (or later that night!).  You’re offering her a chance to meet a guy who can open up new worlds for her.  Show her new places. Lead her into deeper conversations than she has had with others.  Have a great sensual, sexual time with you because you’ve honed your erotic skills  (www.EroticMastery.com – seriously, if you haven’t downloaded this program, you’re cheating yourself AND her.  The information and techniques inside changed MY life, as well as the men who have listened to it)

Now, you or ANY MAN reading this, need to look inside and ask honestly: what do I have to offer a great woman?  Identify your attributes: kindness, humor, adventure, knowledge, experience, affection, erotic mastery, depth — whatever it may be.  And then identify what you want to improve in ANY of those areas (and then go out and improve on your skills, here or elsewhere).

If you stay focused on why YOU are the prize – she will feel you to be the prize — or at least will give you the benefit of the doubt until you prove otherwise.

Now, here’s a great way to get her number, without doing a dorky “number close” – which I witnessed just the other night and made a note to share it with you as soon as I got home.

I just learned it slamming along the music clubs on a humid 6th St. in Austin with some buddies from around the country.  One of them, a fast talking New Yorker met a sweet Texan girl (big hair) and had her laughing in the first few minutes.  AS SOON AS SHE WAS LAUGHING… (i.e. in a happy, receptive moment-state) – he said…

“Hey, we’re having a great time and you know I want to see you again when it’s not so loud . We both know I’m going to ask for your number sooner or later, so let’s just exchange numbers now, so we can just be normal”

And of course she did.  Let’s break down the messaging:

1. He framed the moment: we’re having a great time and told her she wanted to see him again (in case she didn’t realize it

2. He suggested intimacy and care: “when it’s not so loud.” — which suggests he wants to know more about her, to actually LISTEN to her, which of course all women want from men.

3. He spoke for her again and called out the elephant in the room (showing meta-situational wisdom) “you  and I both know I’m going to ask for your number sooner or later”

4. He didn’t ASK for her number (taking or, for you Jared, “raping’) and instead offered a fair exchange of numbers, theoretically keeping the non-rapey equilibrium.

5. “So we can just be normal” – ahh, this was the genius capper.  This phrase subtly suggest that they are in an “abnormal” state at the moment, a disequilibrium that needs to be resolved.  He is offering her resolution, calm, peace – NORMALITY, for godsakes – once she gives him her number.

**

Do you see how many dynamics you can engage with just one simple sentence?  Just as in Deep Attraction Online, where I show you how to stand out from the online crowd with powerful, sensual, subtle and suggestive language, so too you can stand out from every other chumpy guy out on the town who puts himself into the submissive pose of ASKING for a phone number.

By contrast, offer your insights into the moment, offer your number in exchange, and offer the experience of a man who knows what he wants and just gets it.

Try it.  And let me know how it goes.

Your friend,

Adam

p.s. – do you have another great way to get digits?  To get her contact via facebook or email?  Do you make orgasmic sounds when you bump?  I always say I’ll bump if SHE makes orgasmic sounds.  Then, of course, I say it didn’t come through, She has to bump – and moan – harder.  God, apps make life fun. If you’ve got a great technique or insight on how to get a woman’s info, put it into the comments below, and share your wisdom with the other guys, you selfish bastard!

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